Why did she do it?
by Steeleafan
Summary: Maura goes into shock after Jane shoots herself it's in Maura's point of view. Evenual Jane/Maura. Femslash don't like don't read.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own it. Maura's POV**

_Why did she do it? Why did Jane have to shoot herself. _I can't think except for that sentence. She lies here on the concrete and I'm mad, I'm angry, I'm outraged. _How dare she play with death like that? _I know why, she wanted to protect her brother, but what about her? What about Jane? Did she have absolutely no self preservation at all? I feel hot tears against my cheeks, of course I'm crying. I check for a pulse.

Thank God.

She's there barely, but her heart is still beating. Now I lean down and listen.

She's breathing. Just a little bit, but technically still breathing. I feel other people rush around me, but I just see her there covered in blood, and the color in her face is drained. They lift her from the ground and ask me to move away, but I find that I can't. Their hands are on me and I hear myself scream in agony.

The ambulance is moving away, so I run I don't even think about it I run until I fall.

Frost ushers me to the car, and I can't see anything. It must be shock, this is just a typical case of shock, I'll be fine, Where is Jane? Where is Jane?

"**Where is Jane!**"

"Calm down" It's Frost's voice.

"**No"**

"We're going to the hospital, and they won't let you see her if you aren't calm"

"**How the hell am I suppose to be calm Frost?"**

"I don't know Maura I just don't know" I'm silent, I still can't see anything as I feel my body start to fall in the seat. "Maura?" He's frightened for me, I can tell, but I can't find my voice to tell him it's a normal reaction. _Normal? Why why why why JANE! Why did you have to do it? You could die Jane you could die! _and then what will I do? Who will be there for me? No I don't care. _You have no idea how much pain I feel seeing you in pain, seeing you bloody. _I'm being placed into a chair of some kind, oh a wheel chair. Where am I going? I open my mouth and I still can't speak.

"It's going to be okay, you are just going into shock" It's a woman most likely a nurse. I know I want to say, but I can't and I can't see and I can barely feel anything.

"_Jane_" Finally there it is my voice…as Jane had said at an earlier date sarcastically "yaaaay"

"She's in surgery, but she is going to live" I feel my lips smile, but it feels strange because I can't feel the inside of my mouth or my cheeks. Jane is going to live. _Jane will live, Jane will live and then I can tell her…_


	2. Chapter 2

A hospital bed, I'm in a hospital bed. The only thing I can feel in a slight tingling in my back. There is a cushion under it and it is severely uncomfortable, this is definitely a hospital bed. I hear someone moaning in the bed next to me, it's a low hoarse moan and it pains me to hear it.

"Maura" I respond without wondering who just uttered my name behind pained lips.

"Yes?" I'm hopeful, but now that I'm sure who it is, I feel worse, from hearing the tremors in her voice.

"Why are you in here, Maura are you alright?" I smiled, it was Jane as I knew it was.

"I went into shock" I answer plainly.

"Shock? Maura why?"

"It's a perfectly normal reaction, to a traumatic event" I clarify.

" What?"

"You shot yourself Jane"

"Are you going to be okay Maura?"

"How can you ask that, you are the one that shot herself, are you going to be okay?"

"Maura I'm fine…are you…" she trails off so I interrupt her.

"I can't feel much yet, it's starting to come back, I can't really see, but Jane I'll be fine as long as you are.. What do you feel Jane?"

"Just a really bad cramp" Jane laughs.

"That's not funny Jane"

"How do you think I feel?"

"You're right Jane, better not describe it, because then I'll never be able see or feel again" I wish I could see her, no, that would make it worse seeing all the pain she's in will be the end of me.

"Maura" Her voice is gentle now. "I'll be fine"

"Not once I'm through with you."

They are waking me up now. I open my eyes and everything is blurry for a few minutes before I can see and then a few seconds later I can feel once they utter the words.

"She'll be fine" I know they are talking about Jane.


	3. Chapter 3

My hand is pressed against the door, and I wait a few seconds before allowing myself to open it. They just told me I was free to go, so immediately I ran down to Jane's room, and now I can't bring myself to open of the door. It's hard and wood, and now that I can feel again it feels strange. My eyes can see it finally and I know that once I open this door there is no turning back. I will have to see Jane. I will have to see her starting to heal, but still in horrific shape. I don't think I could take it. I'm trying to prepare, imaging how bad it could be and practicing not wincing. I don't realize how long I've stood here until a nurse comes to the door and gives me a weird look before entering.

"You can come in you know" She says her eyebrows pulled together by confusion. Even if I didn't go in I knew that I would still end up seeing how bad she looked by standing in the doorway awkwardly.

I decide to be brave and walk in.

It's too much.

She sits there and her face is in an agonized expression mouth open moaning, and her skin is completely pale and not the usual color that was so much darker so much more beautiful. She looks dead, and that scares me. I know she isn't dead, but seeing her like this makes tears fall from my eyes, and I cannot stop them and her brown eyes that no longer have any sparkle in them, see my tears and she groans.

"Maura, come…" I know she wants to say _here _and can't which pains me deeply. However I slowly walk towards her bed and can't stop myself from briefly glancing away from her injuries. Then I force myself to look, and I can't help but stare and cry. Jane reaches for me and moans in pain.

"Stop Jane, I'm here don't hurt yourself anymore" I urge her and she smiles and I sigh, I know it's not a real smile, because she's in pain, she does not really feel any better. I'm down being sorry, I'm done being so sad. "Jane?" This time my voice isn't gentle. She glances up at me noticing the change in my tone. "**How could you?**"

"What?" She asks me and I'm even madder how could she not know what I was talking about.

" **How could you do this to me? **"

"Maura.." Her voice is gentle pained and it breaks my heart.

"**You could have **_**died" **_I am crying now and I can't seem to stop myself, I'm so mad, and so frightened. How could she have done this to me? To herself? I can't live without her.

"Maura" She tries to get me to stop talking but I won't I can't.

"**I can't live, **without you _Jane_" My voice dies out and I'm not mad anymore, I'm just frightened and sad…

"Yes you can Maura"

"**No Jane, you don't understand, you weren't even dead and I was in shock I knew you were still alive yet I could not feel, or see anything, **if you had died I wouldn't have been able to breath, and then yes, Jane, I would have died, I would have died with you…" Jane is silent so much so that the air is thick with anticipation. "**I would hit you if you weren't in so much pain" **I add and then she smiles..

"Well thank you for refraining then" It's sarcasm, I have now mastered the art of understanding it.

"**What were you thinking?**"

"Saving Frankie."

"**Right" **I say it because I know she wouldn't have thought of me. "Not of me then, not at all…"

"What? Maura come on.."

"**No Jane! I have no one except for you"**

"You saved him didn't you?"

"yes."

"thank you."

"What about me Jane?" It sounds selfish. "What about yourself." Then I add. "I wish Bobby had the gun pointed at me."

"**No Maura"**

"Yes, then it wouldn't be me that has to see you like this."

"I'm glad, I was the one he took Maura"

"**I'm not"**

"I'm glad because" She pauses. "I'm glad because I…"

**CLIFHANGER hope it makes you review because I like reviews…yeah and then I will write again once I get some reviews. **


	4. Chapter 4

"What Jane?" I wait for her to speak she opens her mouth twice before starting to talk.

"I couldn't live if you were dead either Maura" I blush profusely, and can't help but smile.

"Really?"

"Are you kidding me Maura? I shake my head uncertain of what Jane is referring to.

"No"

"You really think I could go a day without hearing the sound of your voice telling me all about the full history of razor burns?"

"I well…"

"You think I could last without watching your face light up when your happy?"

"Um….I never.."

"Do you really think I could deal with day to day life without a slight touch from you?"

"I haven't really thought…about"

"Without gazing into your eyes." _What?_

"Without you Maur…do you really think I could survive?" I can't breath I honestly can't breath. I swallow once. Twice.

"What are you trying to say" I think I know, but I want her to say it I want her to say it out loud.

"I need you Maura" Sigh. She needs me. Like I need her? Does she wake up everyday and think _I can't wait to see her?_

"What does that mean Jane?" I close my eyes waiting for her to say something about friendship and us being best friends.

"It means…it means, that I need you what else could it mean…?"

"There is something you are stopping yourself from saying Jane I can tell" She looks at me and I can tell she is masking her embarrassment by acting confused.

"Why don't you say it?"

"What?"

"You know what I want to say, I can't seem to say it, why don't you say it"

"Fine" I pause. "You're in love with me" Jane sighs and then smiles.

"Very good, I would clap..but" I smile. Then nod.

"I'm in love with you too Jane" She smiles.

"oh."

"You didn't expect that?"

"No, I expected you to say you didn't feel the same and then it would be awkward"

"Jane, I'm in love with you…alright? No running away.."

"Good."

"In fact, I bet I love you more then you love me" She snorts.

"Ha, you wish" My smile widens.

"Do you really think you would have gone into shock if I was the one that was shot?" I ask her and she closes her eyes briefly.

"No" I smile in victory. " I probably would have screamed at the top of my lungs and then break down completely yell at everyone who touches you, or comes near you, try to strangle bobby's dead body, and scream at him hit everyone and hold your body close to me whispering I love you, I love you, I love you" I smile again and blush and my stomach feels fluttery and empty…and amazing. I sigh.

"I'm going to kiss you now" I warn her and she grins.

"You are suppose to surprise me"

"Fine I won't kiss you"

"Maura" She wines. I smile again as I lean over her bed. Crash. Her lips to mine. It's amazing, it's better then amazing, because its with Jane and I know it is. I smile into her lips.

"I love you Jane."

"I love you Maura"

"Mom is going to be so happy" I grin.

"I know, you finally have someone" My grin widens. "What about Frankie?"

"He's been joking about us since well since we met so he will probably just bug me about how right he was." I smile again.

**The**

**End**


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